Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
