My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
