maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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