Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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