O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
