This girl is more easily done than said...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
