friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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