also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
