I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
