I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
