well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
