I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
