My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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