Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
