Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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