i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
