do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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