Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize