God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
