i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
