i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
