Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
