People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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