glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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