i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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