honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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