my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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