Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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