You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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