Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
