So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
