You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
