I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
