drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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