Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
