someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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