Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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