i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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