bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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