so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
