My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
