u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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