Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
