I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
