she was so not down for the gang bang
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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