We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
