What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
