The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
