i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
