If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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