I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
