I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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