ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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