I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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