We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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