Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
