Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
