8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
