Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
