i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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