Midget sex pt 2 tonight
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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