Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
