I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize