nutella sex= disaster
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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