you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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