this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im part way to drunk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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