I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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