did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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