Tell her she can't have a vagina
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
