So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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