omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
