My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
