how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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