Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
